Friday, January 25, 2013

So You Think I'm Lying?!

The worst thing about having lupus is dealing with other people. Any lupie can understand why that is. Honestly, there are some days I wish I could just lock myself up in my apartment just so I don't have to deal with people.  

Lupus really is a disease that no one understands.

I go into work, attempting to live a normal life, and I sometimes find myself just wanting to sit at my desk and not do anything. From the outside looking in, it looks as though I'm lazy, I hate my job, I wish I wasn't there, and it's so not true. I actually love my job, and I hate my outer appearance seems that way, but it's really something I can't help. Lupus makes me tired. It makes me want to sleep and be anti-social. I don't go out as much as I'd like to being afraid that I'd have a flare up and freak everyone out. Medications have taken a huge toll on my body. I am so young, but this disease ages my body TEN TIMES faster than time has. 

Before lupus, I had the most energetic personality  (and I still have that) but I do have my days. I'll call in sick, and people don't understand why, thinking I'm just playing hookie... "So you think I'm lying?"... Trust me, I'd rather be at work, than at home dealing with this disease. People under estimate the actually pain a lupie or spoonie goes through. 

I feel bad for those that have friends and family that don't understand them. Most of us lupies are in this alone, that's why I cherish my lupie fam so much. Honestly, I have a few people in my life that really do understand me and pray for my healing, and I'm so thankful for them!

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